Woman Defrauded of £42,000 by Childhood Acquaintance in Romance Scam

In 2020, Alice began a relationship with Mark, a former school friend, believing she was reviving a childhood romance. However, she ultimately fell victim to romance fraud, being deceived into providing £42,000. Her case was initially dismissed by police as a civil dispute. Following their separation, Alice, a solicitor based in Shropshire, uncovered that Mark had been maintaining a dual existence with another woman, and her funds had likely supported this lifestyle. Alice stated that the deception was something she was “really struggling to come to terms with”. Her situation is distinct because she had a pre-existing relationship with the perpetrator, unlike many romance fraud cases where individuals connect online or have never met. Anna Rowe, who operates a charity assisting victims, noted that a deficit in comprehension often leads to “in person” romance fraud not being adequately addressed by police forces. She commented, “If victims are walking into a police station and those police do not understand what romance fraud is, they’re making that journey more traumatic by shaming the victim or making them feel stupid.” West Mercia Police has commenced an investigation into Alice’s case, following Action Fraud’s determination that criminal activity had occurred. Over the last four years, the force, responsible for Shropshire, Herefordshire, and Worcestershire, recorded 111 reports of romance fraud, with 23 of these being investigated. Only four investigations resulted in charges. Alice and Mark, whose names are pseudonyms, attended the same school, had a short relationship in their twenties, and shared 50 mutual friends on Facebook. For several years, their contact was restricted to exchanging birthday greetings. However, in October 2020, Mark initiated regular messages to Alice, leading to their reconnection. They discovered shared interests in music and food, alongside reminiscing about past experiences. Alice described it as, “It was amazing. It was like my youth was back. We had a shared history.” They arranged to meet at a pub they had frequented during their teenage years. Alice stated, “We were catching up about people we knew and it was really comfortable,” adding, “I felt at home with him completely and very safe.” His former school friends also recalled him positively. Consequently, when he first disclosed significant business debts, attributing them to the pandemic, she had no cause for suspicion. He presented her with threatening text messages he claimed to have received and informed Alice that his home was not safe to visit. He also mentioned his deteriorating mental health. She informed the BBC, “He did make it very clear that he needed help and told me all the figures involved,” adding, “I was essentially in a position where I wanted to save him.” Their relationship developed, and he was introduced to her family and friends. By April 2021, Alice had loaned Mark £20,000. He pledged repayment from the sale of his property, and Alice, being a solicitor, verified the financial particulars and documented the loan agreement. However, the property sale did not materialize, and the debt increased. Subsequent trips to Wimbledon and Croatia, financed by Alice, took place, and Mark provided support to her after her grandfather’s death. Nevertheless, there was a continuous need for additional payments. Alice explained, “Everything was towards him getting him back on his feet – get his health sorted out, getting him back at work earning again, so he could stabilise his life and we could be happy.” She facilitated bank transfers for various expenses, including new clothes, glasses, a vehicle for job interviews, psychotherapy costs, treatments for a skin condition, and rent for his residence. Alice also experienced isolation as she defended his actions to her family and friends. By October 2023, she recognized that both their relationship and her financial situation were in jeopardy. Mark had accumulated £57,000 in borrowed funds but had only repaid £14,000. When she ultimately ended their relationship via phone, he owed her £42,000. What followed proved even more shocking. In distress, she drove to Mark’s residence for the first time. Upon her arrival, a woman she identified as his alleged ex-partner, Julie, was present on the driveway, holding Mark’s dog, whose veterinary expenses Alice had covered. Alice recounted, “She said ‘you’ve got to stop coming here’, like I was a stalker – that was the story she had been told.” Alice informed Julie she could substantiate their relationship but was then threatened with police involvement. She met Mark a final time in a Sainsbury’s car park, where he claimed to have cancer and to have returned to his ex-partner for solace. Alice then spoke to his neighbour, who confirmed that he and Julie had resided there for years. Alice stated, “For the whole period that he was with me, promising the world, he was living with somebody else and he was going home to that person every day.” The BBC contacted the couple’s landlady, who verified their departure from the property within days of the confrontation. Over a year later, the landlady reported that Mark still owes her five months’ rent. Alice reported the incident to the police, but in December 2023, she was informed that no crime had been committed. She then sought assistance from Love Said, a charity established to aid victims of emotional fraud. Anna, a co-founder, is currently assisting over 40 romance fraud victims in the UK, many of whom were initially rejected by the police. With Anna’s help, Alice submitted her case to Action Fraud. She recounted being asked, “Are you saying that this man deliberately entered into a relationship with you to obtain your money and I said ‘yes, I am’.” On the first anniversary of their separation this year, Alice received a bank transfer of £120 from Mark. She stated that he informed investigators he intends to repay the amount monthly, a plan that would settle the debt in 30 years, by which time she would be 80. Detective Inspector Daniel Fenn, from West Mercia’s economic crime and cyber unit, described romance fraud as “extremely complex.” He further stated, “West Mercia Police has highly experienced and dedicated fraud protection officers and staff who have nationally accredited training to identify, respond to and investigate romance fraud,” adding, “Resources have been increased within our team to assist with tackling and investigating complex fraud.” The force currently has two additional romance fraud cases under investigation. More than four years have passed since Alice and Mark started their relationship, and she expressed feeling no closer to achieving closure. She remarked, “The money, I can make back.” However, she added, “But the betrayal of somebody opening you up into your most vulnerable state, and then betraying you, stealing from you and lying to you, so you were never on the same page, is something I’m really struggling to come to terms with.” Love Said is collaborating with police forces to assist with cases similar to Alice’s. Law enforcement can prosecute criminal activity under “fraud by misrepresentation; where the relationship itself is a deceit for financial gain, or, coercive control and financial abuse legislation”. Anna expressed hope, stating, “Hopefully we can start to see a shift as police become more aware and there’s more understanding about how to investigate.” She further commented, “When you’ve had your innermost feelings expertly manipulated by someone, trusting yourself again is probably the hardest thing to do. “Victims blame themselves so much – they really don’t need blame from anyone else.” For further updates, follow BBC Shropshire on BBC Sounds, Facebook, X, and Instagram. Copyright 2024 BBC. All rights reserved. The BBC bears no responsibility for the content found on external websites. Information regarding our external linking policy is available.