The Unacknowledged Emotional Impact of Miscarriage on Individuals and Couples

A woman, who has experienced five miscarriages over a three-year period, states that the psychological repercussions are “not to be underestimated” and believes she is enduring trauma. Rachel Carlson describes the experience as a “very difficult journey” for herself and her husband Jonathan, both 34 years old and residents of County Down. She occasionally expresses feeling “falling apart.” Despite the personal difficulty of discussing her ordeal, she shares her story with the aim of assisting others. Research indicates that trauma associated with infertility might be more widespread than previously understood, with 60% of women reporting that certain elements of their medical care either caused or intensified their trauma. Although Rachel has not received an official diagnosis of miscarriage-related post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), this condition is estimated to impact thousands of women throughout the UK. She contends that modifications to the healthcare system are urgently needed to prevent others from enduring similar experiences, such as having to traverse a maternity ward to reach one of her appointments. She recounts, “I was furious to be made to wait in a room full of pregnant women and watch them come out of their appointments, all happy.” The South Eastern Health Trust, which provided Rachel’s treatment, has announced plans to relocate gynaecology outpatient services to an alternative site designed to be “more sensitive to the needs of women.” The trust acknowledges it is “very mindful” that the proximity of gynaecology and maternity services can be distressing for individuals who have experienced pregnancy loss. A study conducted by Fertility Network UK, Queen’s University Belfast, Cardiff University, and Cardiff Metropolitan University revealed that trauma experienced by fertility patients is exacerbated by inadequate care, recommending that healthcare providers receive training in trauma-informed approaches. The NHS reports that approximately one in seven couples encounter challenges in conceiving a child. While not all will experience trauma, a study involving 590 individuals across the UK and Ireland indicated that 41% fulfilled the diagnostic criteria for PTSD. This survey is considered limited due to its sample size and the self-reported nature of the participants’ data, yet it represents numerous other couples’ narratives, similar to those of Rachel and Jonathan. Hilary Knight, the NI coordinator for the charity Fertility Network UK, states that the research validates a long-held suspicion among professionals in the fertility sector: that infertility-related trauma is “very common” and constitutes a “silent trauma within our society.” She adds that couples dealing with infertility may find their circumstances worsened by insufficient comprehension of trauma or a failure to recognize their experiences as traumatic. While fear is a natural response to danger, the lasting impact of certain traumatic events can alter one’s perception of fear, potentially leading to feelings of stress or fright in daily life. Jonathan, Rachel’s husband, expresses that while they desire to have children, they are uncertain how much more they can endure. He remarks, “I am definitely experiencing second-hand trauma, if not my own.” He recalls the ultrasound appointment where they discovered the third of their five miscarriages as “probably the most difficult.” Upon seeing no heartbeat, they “ended up just crying in the car afterwards for an hour.” The couple has not yet determined their next steps, but Rachel stated she was not “quite ready to give up.” Rachel has attempted numerous methods to “connect with her grief.” She notes that none were effective until she encountered some stuffed bunnies in a store. She “teared up” at the thought of never having a baby for whom to purchase one, so she bought one for herself. The five bunnies are arranged side by side on the mantelpiece above the open fire in her living room, symbolizing each of the five babies she lost. She describes them as sensory objects that hold significant meaning and are “very comforting.” She recently acquired a tattoo of the word “courage” on her right arm. She asserts determinedly that the tattoo “reminds me of who I am” – “courageous, strong and brave.” Individuals affected by the subjects discussed in this report can seek support by visiting the BBC Action Line. Copyright 2024 BBC. All rights reserved. The BBC disclaims responsibility for the content of external websites. Information regarding our external linking policy is available.