Students Address Loneliness Through Friendship Matchmaking Initiative

In the previous year, Juliette Sartori decided to broaden her social connections, leading her to participate in a coffee meeting with three individuals she had never encountered before. “It went really well,” she stated. “We ended up speaking for two hours and I still speak to them today. We all keep in touch.” This blind friendship encounter was facilitated by Dinner with a Stranger, an organization Juliette and her flatmates established “on a whim” for fellow Glasgow University students seeking to meet new people. Juliette, 21, having relocated to Scotland from the US to pursue studies in business and management, observed a difficulty in forming immediate connections, perceiving individuals as reserved and distant, “had a wall up.” With students so immersed in digital life that they spend less time interacting face-to-face, she found limited opportunities to expand her group of acquaintances. This led to the creation of Dinner with a Stranger. “We thought originally only 30 people would join,” Juliette says. “We just didn’t know what to expect. “It’s an out-there idea and the name throws people off from the start.” However, within its inaugural month, 200 individuals—comprising undergraduate, postgraduate, male, female, and non-binary students—enrolled, and the organization has expanded consistently since then. Juliette’s method for fostering friendships contrasts sharply with the ‘swipe right’ dynamic prevalent in dating applications that are a significant part of many young people’s lives. Its primary focus is on platonic relationships, rather than romantic encounters. Furthermore, it bypasses complex computational algorithms, opting instead for conventional personality assessments distributed to members digitally at the beginning of each month. Potential participants are presented with themed questions, covering topics such as their preferred music genre, cherished Disney film, or ideal vacation spot. Subsequently, Juliette and five additional individuals dedicate several hours to manually match people and exchange contact information, then allowing interactions to unfold naturally. Assisting Juliette in her role as a platonic matchmaker, Mary Yiorkadji soon discovered she was not unique in her difficulty forming friendships at university. Hailing from Cyprus, she commented: “There are lots of people from different backgrounds and it can be really intimidating feeling like you’re different and people won’t understand you.” The 22-year-old holds the view that social media has adversely affected friendships. This observation coincides with an increasing trend of individuals comparing their lives to those of others on digital platforms. “It is really easy to get caught up in fake ideas from social media, which can cause loneliness and expectations that are never met,” Mary says. “People are lonelier now. Our generation is lonelier.” But Mary noted that Dinner with a Stranger has revealed to her the value of the blind friendship date. “I think one of the most important parts of university is to meet new people,” says the fourth-year economics and philosophy student. “In this way you don’t give power to the differences between people, you give power to things that matter in a friendship, which are the similarities you have.” She characterized it as a “unique” method for encountering and forming bonds with individuals globally. Vanya and Hannah, both second-year students, who were matched through Dinner with a Stranger in December of the previous year, expressed their conviction that they would not have encountered each other without the organization. Hannah, 20, from Manchester, commented: “Society puts so much emphasis on romance that we forget how important friendships are.” She indicated that prior to meeting Vanya, she felt “miserable” and spent considerable time alone, but her mental well-being has since enhanced, and she feels more self-assured. The two are currently close friends and share accommodation. Vanya, 19, expressed her enjoyment in getting acquainted with Hannah free from “pre-conceived ideas and expectations.” “People are talking to so many people online that they’re not properly talking to anyone,” says the economics student, who originates from India. “In this way, you’re going in with a completely open mind and you’re getting to know someone as the conversation moves along. You have to show that you’re making a genuine effort.” For Juliette, engaging in friendship dates with unfamiliar individuals has assisted her in discovering her “people.” Expressing bewilderment regarding the perception that friendship dates for meeting new people are abnormal, she anticipates an increase in opportunities to participate in this “fun experiment.” She commented: “It’s more of a modern way of making friends. It’s taking the idea of meeting someone online from a dating website and turning it into friendships by seeing how well you mesh with that person.” Dating applications, including Bumble, have already begun developing comparable features for fostering friendships, a trend Juliette believes will gain wider acceptance as the concept evolves. She stated: “Now people are working from home and doing uni remotely, it is more common for people to stay at home all the time and you are less likely to go out and meet new people like you would have done five years ago. It’s modern but I think it will become more popular in the future.”