Report Proposes Enhanced Contact Between Adopted Children and Birth Families

Adopted children are expected to be granted significantly closer interaction with their birth families in the future, as part of “seismic” alterations recommended in a report issued today. While some families assert these changes are long overdue, others express apprehension that they might discourage individuals from adopting. Angela Frazer-Wicks’ two sons were removed from her care and adopted in 2004, when they were five and one year old. She was in an abusive relationship and contended with issues of addiction and her mental health. By 2011, Angela had recovered, entered a new relationship, and had a baby daughter. The local authority was not involved in her daughter’s upbringing. Angela’s sons and their adoptive parents had maintained communication with her, exchanging letters and photographs once or twice annually. However, when the older of the two boys reached adolescence, he informed his adoptive mother that he no longer wished to correspond with his birth mother. Angela persisted in sending cards, but received no reply for years. Then, unexpectedly, in 2020, Angela received an email from her eldest son. It transpired that he had been attempting to contact her, but the local authority had told him it was not possible. Last month, Angela met her eldest son in person, marking their first encounter in 20 years. “It was amazing for me,” Angela says, “even more so for my daughter – she’s waited her entire life to meet her brother.” Adoption constitutes the state’s most profound intervention in family life. It creates a permanent separation between a child and their birth family, and irrevocably alters the child’s identity. Legally, they are no longer considered the child of their birth parents, and most adopted children grow up without seeing or knowing any of their birth family. Approximately 3,000 children are adopted in England each year. This process must be authorized by judges in family courts, who determine the level of contact the child will have with their birth parents, typically limited to letters sent twice a year via an intermediary. Although adoption law has evolved over the years, allowing children to learn more about their history than they once did, families contend that in some respects, adoption remains largely rooted in the past. Now, a new report from a group established by the most senior judge in the family court indicates that comprehensive reform of the system is necessary. The report states that “Letterbox” contact between adopted children and birth families is outdated, instead advocating for face-to-face contact where it is safe. The extremely detailed report receives strong backing from Sir Andrew McFarlane, who states there is no requirement to amend the law for this to occur. The report is likely to influence family court adoption hearings throughout England and Wales. Angela Frazer-Wicks describes her adoption experience as a “life sentence… without any right to appeal”. As chair of trustees of the charity Family Rights Group, she is pleased that mothers in her position will have more opportunities to continue seeing their children after they have been adopted. “It’s a seismic shift,” Angela says. “It’s been such a long time coming. My hope is that we start to see just a bit more compassion towards birth families – they are so often seen as the problem.” While meeting birth family can be very positive for some adopted children, in-person meetings are not beneficial for all children in this situation. When Cassie was adopted at age three, she constantly worried about the mother from whom she had been separated. Out shopping with her adoptive parents Dee and John, Cassie would even inquire if she could purchase groceries for her birth mum. Dee was advised that it would be reassuring for Cassie to meet her birth mother face-to-face. Their reunion, held in a noisy contact centre, proceeded successfully – but the following day Cassie was very tired, pale and limp. Dee decided to take Cassie to the doctor, and by the time they arrived at the surgery Cassie was trembling and vomiting uncontrollably. But there was nothing physically wrong the doctor said – Cassie was in shock. For nearly two years Cassie and Dee attended specialist therapy. Cassie still appeared to worry about her birth mother, and would try to call her on a toy telephone. Another meeting was arranged, in a quieter environment, with support. After that, Cassie, who is now aged 30, says she didn’t want to see her birth mother again. “I never felt a strong urge,” she says. “I had all the information about her.” With more recent adoptions, a new type of risk has emerged. Children can trace their birth family online, and some will proceed to meet them. This can lead to conflict with adoptive parents, and even adoption breakdown. “The children become very emotionally mixed up,” says Sir Andrew McFarlane, the head of the Family Court in England and Wales. “If you’re trying to work out who you are you in the world, and you have some memory of the family you lived with until you were four or five… it’s almost natural to try and trace them and be in touch with them.” Without expert assistance, this can have disastrous consequences. In 2021, one couple informed the BBC that it was “devastating” to witness their two adopted sons turn against them and become involved in crime, after they had been reunited with their birth family. There is no precise data on how many adoptions break down. The charity Adoption UK has stated that the figure varies between 3% and 9%. Following a four-year review and consultation, the 170-page report published today suggests that greater consideration should be given to whether adopted children “should have face-to-face contact with those who were significant to them before they were adopted”. The report is intended as an examination of the adoption process and a “catalyst for positive changes”. Among the dozens of other recommendations are reforming the law on international adoption, and establishing a national register for court adoption records to facilitate easier access for people to find their own files. The report also recommends discontinuing the term “celebration” for parents’ last visit to court with the child they are adopting. Find out more about adopting a child here Many adoptive parents agree that the current “letterbox” system of contact is ineffective. In a 2022 survey, Adoption UK found that most prospective adopters believed that standardising direct contact would deter people from adopting, at a time when the number of people coming forward to adopt is in decline. But at the same time, it found that 70% of those looking to adopt believed that direct contact should be standard practice, if considered safe. Others think it could create further problems. Nigel Priestley is a specialist adoption solicitor and an adopter himself. He has observed the issues this contact can cause. “I think it’s enormously risky,” he says. “In my view there is a grave danger that if you once open Pandora’s Box shutting it will be impossible.” A Department for Education spokesperson stated that the value of children growing up in a loving family “cannot be underestimated”. And for many children in care, “adoption makes this happen”. “We know that adoption has a profound impact on everyone involved, and it’s vital that the child’s best interests are protected and remain at the heart of the process.” Clarification 8 November 2024: This story has been amended following updated information supplied by Adoption UK Copyright 2024 BBC. All rights reserved. The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read about our approach to external linking.