Men’s DIY Group Addresses Loneliness and Bereavement

Bob Emblin, 72, states, “I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t come to The Shed,” adding, “This place has been great.” The organization Emblin mentions is the Wharfedale Men’s Shed group, which offers men in this affluent area of north-west Leeds a weekly opportunity to engage in DIY activities, share coffee, and socialize. This group is part of a larger network of over 1,100 Men’s Shed organizations that have emerged across the UK since the establishment of the first group in 2013. The positive influence on the men participating in the group, which convenes weekly on Mondays in Otley, is clear. Bob, a retired BT engineer, began attending the Wharfedale group after becoming widowed during the Covid pandemic. Speaking from a temporary coffee room, Bob clarifies, “It was loneliness and the need for me to make a fresh start really.” He adds, “You feel you’ve got a reason or a motivation to do things.” Bob’s conversation takes place amidst the sounds of industrial tools and woodworking machinery, including a laser cutter, bandsaw, lathe, and 3D printer, operating in an adjacent room. In this space, the group’s approximately 20 members can undertake various projects, some commissioned by local charities, the town council, or wildlife organizations. Other members may seek help with personal DIY tasks or simply enjoy companionship while working. Neil O’Brien, who joined the group in 2019, has developed a particular expertise in crafting hedgehog boxes. Neil states with a laugh, “Every one of these that I make sells very quickly,” and “They’re not expensive.” He further remarks, “No sooner have I made one, it disappears!” Due to his expertise, Neil is frequently sought after by other members requiring assistance with their projects. He humorously notes that he is “invariably” very busy. He clarifies, “My background is practical work,” adding, “I’m more in the metal work side of things, but I’ve always done both metal and wood.” He concludes, “It’s nice to be able to pass the knowledge on.” Adam Tasker, a 32-year-old supply teacher, exemplifies that age does not restrict membership and is one of those keen to benefit from Neil’s skills. Adam, who joined Men’s Shed just two weeks prior, expresses enthusiastically, “Neil is going to teach me some stuff today.” He also comments, “They’re really nice people.” Robert Burnett, a friend of Bob’s in the coffee room, shares this sentiment. The 63-year-old, who began attending the group two years ago after relocating to Otley from Burley-in-Wharfedale, states, “We all help each other.” Robert lightheartedly remarks that the personalized blue jumpers and polo shirts worn by members create a “primary school” appearance, yet they also foster a sense of identity and community. All new members must abide by a code of conduct that prohibits discussions of politics and religion to preserve group harmony. Robert clarifies, “We all have different outlooks and different views of the world but we leave it at the door.” He emphasizes, “There’s the underlying message we’re all here to support each other and treat each other with respect.” Robert mentions that the group recently assisted a local resident in reconstructing a garden fence after its wood was stolen. He comments, “That gives us a bit of a buzz, because we’re actively working in the community and using our skills in a productive way.” While practical skills are valued, they are not a requirement for membership. Bob Miles, the group’s secretary and a founder member, asserts that friendship and camaraderie constitute a “key part” of Wharfedale Men’s Shed. Bob states, “We make the point with any new member that you don’t have to use your hands.” He continues, “It’s important you make friends. You can sit and chat, have a biscuit and a coffee.” He observes, “One of the worst things about retiring is you’ve spent lots of time with people around you (at work) and then all of a sudden you’re on your own.” Bob suggests that men “aren’t as good” as women at forming new connections. He expresses, “I wish men would be a little more forthcoming in that respect.” However, he notes, “But you get two guys working around a bench, cutting a bit of wood or whatever, and they start talking about all kinds of things. “It’s almost a catalyst that helps them break out of that reserved mode.” However, the group’s growth has led to challenges. Its current location, which is confined and only accessible one day a week at the Otley Courthouse arts centre, is no longer sufficient to accommodate its members. Consequently, the recent approval of planning permission to demolish a derelict café nearby and construct its own dedicated facility on the site is especially positive. This new development will enable the group to manage increasing demand, utilize the space for more than one day per week, and lease it to other organizations. Stuart Gregory, the 77-year-old chairman, states, “Our intention is not to turn anyone away at all.” He adds, “We never say to anyone, ‘I’m sorry we’re full’. So far, touch wood, we seem to have coped with the membership.” Gregory hopes, “Hopefully when we get our new accommodation that problem will go away completely.” Considering the positive impact the group has on its members and the broader community, this expansion is a highly anticipated step. Additional reporting was provided by Don Mort of the Local Democracy Reporting Service.