Marina Diamandis Stresses Importance of Removing Shame from Bulimia

Marina Diamandis, who has released five albums, is now writing in an unprecedented way through a poetry book. This collection explores, among other subjects, her personal experience with an eating disorder. The singer, previously known as Marina and the Diamonds, had no prior interest in poetry. However, a couple of summers ago, after taking psychedelics, she found herself “writing lyrics that didn’t fit into songs.” The outcome is Eat The World, a collection that Vanity Fair has characterized as “insightful and introspective.” The 39-year-old artist states that the book elaborates on a feeling of loneliness she has experienced throughout her life. The poems address a variety of subjects, including difficult relationships, the advantages and disadvantages of living in LA, and achieving self-comfort as a woman in her 30s. They also detail how the singer managed bulimia during her twenties. Diamandis adds, “There are parallels to the themes in my music,” explaining, “I think one of the main themes has been a sense of feeling isolated in some way in my life, or not feeling like I belonged.” The first poem she shared on social media, titled Aspartame after the artificial sweetener, narrates her move to LA at age 20, her efforts to gain a man’s affection, and her simultaneous struggle with an eating disorder. Bulimia is an eating disorder and mental health condition where individuals engage in binge eating followed by self-induced vomiting, laxative use, or excessive exercise. While it can affect anyone, the NHS reports it is more prevalent in those aged 15–25. Diamandis has previously referenced this in her music, specifically in the 2012 album Electra Heart, where the track Teen Idle alludes to bulimia with mentions of purging. In Aspartame, the descriptions of bulimia’s physical side effects are not softened; she is depicted as “rail thin in a polka dress” with “tooth enamel dissolved by stomach acid.” In Smoothness of Money, she discusses a “binge-purge cycle.” Diamandis stated she felt comfortable exploring the illness in her poetry because she now feels significantly removed from it, and believes it is crucial to eliminate any shame associated with the condition. “This chapter in my life was like 15 years ago, so I feel very much moved on, and I’m able to talk about it and not feel any kind of shame or self-consciousness,” she says. “I think it’s really important to take that mystery or shame away from it.” She added, “At the end of the day, it’s like any other mental illness or health issue, and it can be life-threatening, and most of all, for the majority of people, it makes your life a misery.” Diamandis also observed, “I think with the subject of eating disorders, there’s so much secrecy around the illness itself, like in terms of maintaining it, or being allowed to exist doing what you’re doing without kind of commentary from other people, because it’s obviously such a harmful thing.” Diamandis credits the physical side effects of bulimia as her motivation to recover, as her throat was so damaged she was unable to sing. She recounted, “It was about five years in that I decided I’m not actually ever going to achieve my dream of being a singer and an artist if I continue with this.” Diamandis continued, “I actually quit this vocal course that I was doing at the time, when I was around 21 before I got signed, because my throat was so raw I couldn’t sing anymore.” She then resolved to recover, stating, “And I decided from then I was going to recover, and then I went through the thing of gaining weight and not feeling great about that, but it took a couple of years to even out.” She concluded, “A couple of years later, I got signed and my life started to improve, and other things became more important than that.” Diamandis described her recovery as “gradual,” estimating it took approximately 10 years. She also highlighted a common misconception that eating disorders are “about wanting to be thin or looking a certain way.” Diamandis clarified, “It really is never that – that’s like the surface issue, but then below that there are family issues happening, there’s always self-esteem stuff going on.” For those currently struggling, Diamandis advises against self-reproach. She stated, “[Don’t beat] yourself up for having it, because I remember feeling a lot of guilt about even having it.” She suggested, “I think feeling more compassionate towards myself was maybe one of the first things that I would advise people, but also everyone that’s going to have their own journey.” The eating disorder charity Beat supports this view, adding that they “urge anyone struggling to make an appointment with their GP as soon as possible, or if you’re worried about a loved one, encourage them to do so.” The charity commented, “Eating disorders thrive on shame and stigma, so it’s really helpful when celebrities and public figures choose to speak openly about their experiences.” They further stated, “This helps reinforce the message that eating disorders can affect anyone and that there’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Beat concluded, “Bulimia is a serious mental illness but it’s completely possible to make a full recovery – every day we hear from people who’ve gone on to live full lives, free of their eating disorder.” Diamandis has been active in the industry since 2008, a period when being a size zero was still considered an unhealthy ideal. However, she believes society has merely exchanged one set of body standards for another. She observed, “On one hand, we now celebrate things like being super curvy or having a tiny waist or a big bum, and that’s great because it’s not size zero.” Yet, she added, “But I just feel like we’ve swapped one set of ideals for another, and the prevalence of like surgery and doing things to your face just feels like at an all-time high.” While affirming that “women should always have the option to do whatever the hell they want,” she expressed concern that “it’s just another thing for women to worry about.” Currently, Diamandis is finalizing her sixth album, but she anticipates releasing more books in the future. She stated, “I can definitely see myself writing another poetry book, but maybe in three years’ time.” She also expressed a desire to write an essay collection at some point, noting, “I would love to write a book of essays at some point, but I don’t like to do two projects at once, so I would really want to do it properly – maybe after this next album, I’ll start writing another kind of book.” For those affected by the issues raised in this article, help and support are available on BBC Action Line. Copyright 2024 BBC. All rights reserved. The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Information regarding their approach to external linking is available.