Discussing Grief: Not a Burden, But a Path to Healing

A bereavement counsellor stated that individuals frequently refrain from discussing grief due to concerns about inconveniencing others. Lorna Harrison, a therapist affiliated with Trinity Hospice in Blackpool, explained that engaging in conversations about grief could be transformative for those who have not previously shared their experiences. She drew a parallel between societal attitudes towards grief and those concerning death, observing that both subjects are typically addressed only during moments of intense emotion, rather than being acknowledged as an ordinary aspect of existence. Lorna indicated that Trinity Hospice, an organization delivering care throughout the Fylde Coast, furnishes a secure environment where individuals can “unlock what’s going on in their head or heart.” Joselyn Rae is among those who have received assistance from Lorna at the hospice. Following the loss of her mother, Joselyn recounted experiencing significant difficulty with daily tasks like getting dressed and a complete lack of interest in life. She credited the hospice’s support with having “opened a new world” for her. Joselyn stated: “It is a journey I am enjoying, which doesn’t sound right going through grief, but I find I am a comfort to other people as well now.” She emphasized that the Christmas period serves as a crucial time for remembrance and contemplation. Her counsel was: “They wouldn’t want you sad – remember all those memories that you shared together, and it will make you smile.” She added: “It might make you cry but remember them, it will help.” Jack Hollowell, a funeral director based in Lancashire, believes that perceptions regarding death might be evolving. To address an increasing demand for unconventional funeral services, Mr. Hollowell has acquired a collection of distinctive vehicles for transporting individuals on their last journeys, including options from a Harley Davidson motorcycle hearse to a Massey Ferguson tractor. He remarked: “As a funeral director we are always happy for people to come in and have a chat with us.” He further added: “If there’s anything that anybody needs to ask about you can go to any funeral director and everyone is always willing to help.” Hayley Kay, employed as a funeral celebrant, commented: “My job means I meet people who are bereaved and have lost somebody.” She continued: “And one of the things that always surprises me is people’s reluctance to talk about grief and loss.” Kay concluded: “If you love somebody then you are going to lose somebody eventually, it really is our only certainty.” Additional reporting was provided by Hayley Kay. Individuals affected by bereavement, child bereavement, or end-of-life care can access support via BBC Action Line. The best of BBC Radio Lancashire is available on Sounds, and BBC Lancashire can be followed on Facebook, X, and Instagram. Story ideas can also be submitted to northwest.newsonline@bbc.co.uk. Copyright 2024 BBC. All rights reserved. The BBC disclaims responsibility for the content of external sites. Information regarding their approach to external linking is available.