An Adoption Journey: Finding “My World and My Heart”

Rachel recounted the initial encounter with Winnie, stating, “At our first meeting she just looked at me and my husband with such intensity and then broke out in a smile and that was it… we all looked at each other and said ‘yes this is our family’.” This memory was shared by a radiant Rachel, who was observed in her living room, filled with books and toys, as two-year-old Winnie engaged in play with a social worker nearby. Rachel, aged 41, and her husband Lewis, 42, married in 2019 with aspirations of having children. Following fertility challenges, the couple chose to explore adoption rather than pursuing in vitro fertilisation (IVF). Rachel clarified her decision, stating, “It’s always been on my radar. My mum used to be a foster and adoption social worker.” She further elaborated, “We just thought there are children out there who need a loving, stable family so that’s what we could provide for them so why not go down that route.” A 28% decrease in the number of adopters has been observed in Oxfordshire, Berkshire, and Swindon during the past three years. This scarcity results in extended waiting periods for adoption for certain children, specifically those with additional needs, siblings, and individuals from black and minority ethnic backgrounds. Adopt Thames Valley expresses a desire for more individuals to contemplate offering a child a nurturing home. Rachel detailed that the adoption procedure involved approximately four months of background verifications. Subsequently, they were assigned a social worker who convened with them weekly for several months, discussing various subjects such as upbringing, family background, and approaches to parenting. Rachel possesses dual heritage, with her mother originating from West Africa and her father being white British, while her husband, Lewis, is white. She articulated, “We were very keen to adopt a child from black or mixed-heritage background to match our identities, but also we know from all the reading and research that these children wait longer in the system so we were really keen to embrace that.” Initially, Rachel, a healthcare worker, and Lewis, who is employed in insurance, received information about children in foster care from their social worker to assess their interest in proceeding. An alternative method for matching with a child is the Link Maker website, which features profiles of children seeking adoption throughout the UK. This platform is where they discovered Winnie. Rachel commented, “I think she was the first child I looked at and I had an instant connection with her profile.” She added, “There wasn’t much to it just a little line that said ‘she’s a fighter’ and it just got me.” Rachel reported that the adoption process for Winnie proceeded without complications, and she received substantial assistance from social workers and Winnie’s foster family. The entire duration, from registering as prospective adopters to Winnie’s arrival home in July last year, spanned approximately 18 months. She characterized her daughter, who will celebrate her third birthday in December, as “a ball of energy” with a passion for singing, dancing, and gymnastics. Rachel stated, “It’s been exciting, scary, frustrating at times but I wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s my world and my heart.” The national decline in adopter numbers might be partially attributed to the cost of living crisis. Teresa Rogers, who serves as the head of adoption services at Oxfordshire County Council, noted that she is observing the effects of this trend, as it is prolonging the placement of certain children. In Berkshire, situated across the county border, Archie is among 30 children awaiting adoption. He will reach his third birthday in January, having been placed with his foster carers, Nancy and Martin, when he was two months old. Nancy characterized Archie as a typical young boy who enjoys running and climbing, further describing him as bright and determined. Archie experiences a developmental delay, which results in him taking more time to achieve milestones such as walking and talking. Nancy expressed her wish for Archie to find a permanent home with “somebody who’s got time and patience because everything takes that little bit longer to learn and do.” She further stated, “He’s a pleasure to have. He’s very happy, very content, very loving.” Oxfordshire County Council, in conjunction with its regional adoption agency, Adopt Thames Valley, endeavors to secure homes for approximately 50-60 children annually, encompassing both infants and older children. Ms. Rogers indicated that the objective is to place children within six months, though she acknowledged that the process can extend to a year and a half. Ms. Rogers conveyed that individuals from any background are welcome to inquire about adoption, and specialized training is provided. She emphasized, “Adopted children, like all children, require a loving family and a family in which they can grow, develop and flourish.” She continued, “But they also have a different experience before they’ve been adopted… they’ve got different life experiences and it takes them time to form attachments to a new family so they need careful parenting.” She concluded by stating, “They need a lot of patience and time to settle into a new family and develop those new relationships.” For updates, BBC Oxfordshire can be followed on Facebook, X, or Instagram. Copyright 2024 BBC. All rights reserved. The BBC disclaims responsibility for the content of external websites. Information regarding their approach to external linking is available.