Sweden’s “Soft Girl” Trend: Young Women Embracing a Lifestyle Away from Work

Despite Sweden’s international standing as a leader in gender equality, a social media phenomenon encouraging women to leave their jobs is gaining traction among young women. Vilma Larsson, 25, who previously worked in a grocery store, a care home, and a factory, ceased employment a year ago to become a stay-at-home girlfriend, stating she has since experienced unprecedented contentment. Ms. Larsson stated, “My life is softer. I am not struggling. I am not very stressed.” Her boyfriend is employed remotely in the finance sector. While he dedicates his days to his laptop, she engages in activities such as going to the gym, meeting friends for coffee, or cooking. The couple, who both originated from small towns in central Sweden, now travel extensively and are currently spending the winter season in Cyprus. Ms. Larsson elaborated on her financial arrangement: “Every month he gives me a salary from his money that he made. But if I need more, I’ll ask him. Or if I need less, I don’t – I just save the rest.” She documents her way of life across Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, where she has accumulated 11,000 followers. Certain posts have garnered nearly 400,000 likes, though she asserts that she does not generate income from her online content. She employs the hashtags “hemmaflickvän” and “hemmafru,” which translate from Swedish to stay-at-home girlfriend and housewife, respectively. She identifies as a “soft girl,” a designation that signifies a preference for a gentler, more feminine existence over a career-centric one. While the “soft girl” lifestyle has existed as a social media microtrend globally since the late 2010s, its recent rise in Sweden—a nation with five decades of policies aimed at fostering dual-income households—has generated both astonishment and disagreement. Ungdomsbarometern, recognized as Sweden’s most extensive annual survey of young individuals, initially drew national attention to the adoption of the “soft girl” trend by Swedes a year prior. This occurred after the trend emerged as a favored prediction among 15 to 24-year-olds when forecasting trends for 2024. A subsequent study published by Ungdomsbarometern this August indicated that this lifestyle was even becoming an aspiration among younger schoolgirls, with 14% of those aged seven to 14 identifying as “soft girls.” Johanna Göransson, a researcher affiliated with Ungdomsbarometern, clarified, “It’s about leaning away from this ‘girl boss’ ideal that we’ve seen for a lot of years, where there are very, very high demands for success in every aspect of life.” While there is no formal data quantifying the number of young “soft girls” who have entirely left the workforce to be financially supported by their partners, similar to Ms. Larsson, Ms. Göransson suggests this group likely constitutes a minor segment of the population. Nevertheless, this phenomenon has evolved into a significant topic of discussion across Sweden, featuring in opinion columns in broadsheet newspapers, panel debates at Almedalen—a substantial annual cross-party political gathering—and broadcasts on Swedish public service television. Gudrun Schyman, co-founder and former leader of Sweden’s feminist party Feministiskt initiativ, confirmed her participation in recent discussions concerning this matter. She considers women relying on their partners’ wealth to be “very dangerous” and “a step backwards” for the advancement of gender equality. Ms. Schyman contends that young Swedes have been swayed by the nation’s right-wing coalition government, which partners with the nationalist Sweden Democrats party, in addition to the “broader development” of populism observed in Europe and the United States. Furthermore, she perceives a deficiency in understanding regarding life in Sweden prior to the implementation of policies aimed at fostering gender equality, such as extensively subsidized childcare and shared parental leave. She stated, “Young women today don’t carry the history of how women had to fight for their rights – the right to work, the right to have a salary, and the right to economic independence.” Conversely, the Sweden Democrats party, positioned at the opposite end of the political spectrum, has expressed a favorable view of the “soft girl” trend. Denice Westerberg, national spokesperson for the party’s youth wing, commented, “I think that people should get to decide over their own life.” She added, “And if you have that economic possibility to do that [live off a partner] then good for you.” Westerberg further remarked, “We still live in a country with all the opportunities to have a career. We still have all the rights, but we have the right to choose to live more traditionally.” Beyond the ideological discussions, conversations have also centered on the social and cultural elements potentially influencing young women to either leave their employment or, at minimum, aspire to a less demanding way of life. Sweden is renowned for its work-life balance, with most employees receiving six weeks of annual leave and fewer than 1% working over 50 hours per week. Despite this, research from Ungdomsbarometern indicates increasing stress levels among young individuals. Ms. Göransson posits that the “soft girl” trend might be an outgrowth of contemporary global employment patterns like “quiet quitting,” which advocates for employees to avoid overcommitting themselves. Concurrently, Generation Z (comprising individuals born between 1997 and 2012) is both creating and being shaped by social media content that prioritizes leisure activities over professional aspirations. Ms. Göransson clarified, “Work doesn’t really feature that much if you look at lifestyle content on social media today, it’s much more about exercise and wellness.” She added, “And if that’s the picture young people have of what a normal life looks like, then, of course, maybe you’re not so excited about spending eight hours in an office a day.” However, arguably the most significant aspect under discussion is whether this trend represents a reaction to the perceived shortcomings of Sweden’s groundbreaking gender equality policies. Sweden, alongside Slovenia, boasts the highest percentage of working mothers in Europe; yet, government data indicates that women in heterosexual partnerships continue to undertake a greater share of household chores and childcare responsibilities compared to men. Furthermore, women utilize 70% of state-funded parental leave and exhibit a higher propensity for taking sick leave due to stress. Concurrently, while the earnings disparity between men and women in Sweden remains below the EU average of 12.7%, it has remained stagnant at approximately 10% since 2019. Ms. Larsson, who intends to have children in the future, attributes her choice to become a stay-at-home girlfriend partly to witnessing older women contend with the demands of balancing a career and domestic life. She remarked, “I think a lot of women feel burned out from their work.” She continued, “And I just think of my mother and her mother, my grandma, and my sister, everyone. They’re always so stressed.” Peter Wickström, who leads the department for policy analysis and monitoring at Sweden’s state-funded Gender Equality Agency, similarly suggests that the “soft girl” trend could be interpreted as a “rational reaction” to the “demands” that young women feel they face. Shoka Åhrman, an economist employed at SPP, one of Sweden’s largest pension funds, expressed her belief that an insufficient number of Swedish girlfriends or wives will exit the workforce to significantly affect the nation’s economy. Nevertheless, she is actively engaged in informing Swedish women that withdrawing from the labor force (or transitioning to part-time employment) could have repercussions for their personal finances, including savings, pensions, and potential salary levels upon re-entry into employment. Ms. Åhrman anticipates that the ongoing discussions surrounding the “soft girl” trend will act as a catalyst for both political figures and corporations, highlighting the continued necessity of addressing systemic inequalities within Sweden. She stated, “I think the source of it, which is mental health issues, burnouts and all that, is what’s more worrying, because that affects not only the few younger girls today that want to stay home as soft girls.”