Christmas Challenges for Families with Children with Additional Needs

Aimee-Leigh Mahoney, a mother and full-time carer for her six-year-old son Harry-Jude, who has autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), states that “Having a child with additional needs means Christmas time can feel isolating for families like ours.” Miss Mahoney, a 32-year-old residing in Nottingham, describes the period leading up to Christmas as exceptionally challenging for her family. She explains that typical festive attractions such as town centre markets and Santa’s grottos are excessively overwhelming for Harry-Jude. She perceives the adaptation of activities for children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) as being handled like an “after-thought” and advocates for a shift in this approach. Harry-Jude received diagnoses of autism and ADHD four years prior. His mother notes that he is pre-verbal, indicating limited speech. His additional needs result in sensitivity to noise, light, and large crowds, all of which are prevalent during the Christmas season. Recalling previous attempts to take Harry-Jude to Christmas events, Miss Mahoney, who lives in The Meadows, highlights the significant difficulties her son experiences. She stated, “He can’t talk and tell us what he struggles with, so you’re constantly dealing with trial and error.” She further explained, “When we visited the markets, the noise and hordes of people makes him anxious, and he can lash out and get violent with us and other children.” She characterized these experiences as “a complete sensory overload for him.” Consequently, she added, “It isn’t his fault, and we don’t want him to hurt anyone, so we just don’t go anymore.” Miss Mahoney serves as Harry-Jude’s sole carer and educator, as he is currently home educated, while her partner, Luke Martin, is employed full-time. She describes this caregiving role as occasionally “lonely and isolating.” She elaborated on the emotional impact, stating, “It’s particularly difficult with social media; you see everyone going to the markets and visiting Santa together – it stings.” She acknowledged, “I accept that we have a different Christmas, but sometimes I feel envious.” Miss Mahoney’s attempts to locate suitable SEND Christmas sessions for Harry-Jude have been largely negative. She notes that these sessions frequently occur during unsocial or school hours. She explained, “Parents with autistic children will know that routines are so important, so activities during off-peak school hours don’t suit him.” She cited an example: “A popular Santa’s grotto ended in November, and that’s too early to take Harry-Jude – he won’t understand why Christmas isn’t coming straight after that.” While she expressed satisfaction that “these options exist,” she added, “but sometimes it feels like a tick box exercise.” Spectrum WASP (We Are Special People), a charity based in Nottinghamshire, offers local assistance to families with disabled children. Jess Mason, 31, the charity’s development co-ordinator, commented that Christmas is a period of “high emotions” for autistic children. Mason elaborated, stating, “Some children are overly excited and struggle to regulate their emotions, and others find the changing environment difficult to cope with.” She added, “Anything from Christmas decorations in the house to flashing lights can impact these children.” Mason observed an increase in available SEND spaces over recent years but emphasized the need for further expansion. She remarked, “Quiet hours at markets and shops don’t happen enough.” She further stressed the point by saying, “As a neurotypical person, it is still overwhelming going outside and shopping at this time of year – imagine what it’s like for these children.” Mason concluded, “We don’t want them to miss out, and they deserve to enjoy Christmas as much as any other child does.”