Book featuring stillborn baby’s teddy bear supports parents in grief

A book authored by a grieving mother features the teddy bear of her stillborn child as its central character. Ellie Harley-Jones, 31, commenced drawing in the weeks following the loss of Theo in 2021, prompted by her mother’s suggestion, as she found herself unable “to do anything”. Ellie, residing in Valley on Anglesey, characterized this creative endeavor as therapeutic; moreover, the book served as a conduit for others to engage with her regarding her ordeal. She currently anticipates that her illustrated narratives featuring Theo Bear will assist a greater number of individuals in discussing their personal journeys with miscarriage and stillbirth. “It’s a taboo subject, they didn’t know what to say to me,” Ellie stated. “But the book made it easier for them.” The book chronicles the exploits of Theo Bear, a teddy purchased for her son by his aunt. Recent data from the Office for National Statistics indicated that in Wales, four out of every 1,000 births in 2023 were stillbirths, representing a minor decrease from 2022. Miscarriages lack official recording, yet estimates suggest they occur in approximately 15% of pregnancies. “People are uncomfortable to talk about it,” Ellie further remarked. Nevertheless, she holds the conviction that the book has provided them with an opportunity to express themselves. Philippa Davies identifies with the practice of employing creativity as a method to process grief. In 2012, her daughter Sam was stillborn at Wrexham Maelor Hospital at 32 weeks gestation. Subsequently, Philippa, who hails from Graianrhyd, Denbighshire, established the baby loss charity Our Sam to offer assistance to other parents who have experienced similar bereavements. Similar to Ellie, she found herself unable to leave her residence following her daughter’s passing; however, as an author, she channeled her sorrow into crafting narratives. Her initial publication, A Cookie for Christmas, centered on the pony she acquired for Sam and the experiences she envisioned them sharing as a mother and daughter. Likewise, she discovered that authoring the book, and subsequently a theatrical production concerning baby loss, prompted others to engage in conversations with her about her daughter. She asserted that creative expression aids individuals in addressing challenging topics they might otherwise evade. “It’s too painful to go straight at it, you almost have to go sideways, not hit it head on,” she further stated. “You make it more tangible and it gives a bit of headspace, a bit of distance. “It makes it more acceptable.” For Philippa, who additionally endured four miscarriages, writing serves to “fill the parental hole” that persists following such profound losses. “It’s not just about the loss of the baby, it’s the loss of the future you would have had,” she commented. “I still struggle with that.” Two years subsequent to Theo’s death, Ellie welcomed her “rainbow baby,” a designation for infants born following a previous loss. Leo is currently 21 months of age and has bestowed “so much joy” upon Ellie and her spouse, Luke. She anticipates that her book, along with future works she intends to author, will contribute to increased awareness regarding baby loss and generate financial support for the Sunderland-based charity 4 Louis. This organization provided her with a memory box after Theo’s death, enabling her to retain significant mementos. Both Ellie and Philippa conveyed that composing books inspired by their deceased infants has also afforded them the chance to continue discussing their children and uttering their names. Philippa declared that delivering Sam remains “the proudest day of my life” and that the “memories and love” will endure with her perpetually. “We are still parents,” Ellie affirmed. “Every parent wants to brag about their child, whether they are here or not.” Copyright 2024 BBC. All rights reserved. The BBC bears no responsibility for the material found on external websites. Information regarding our policy on external linking is available.