Autistic Woman Establishes Social Club to Connect with Peers

The day Emma Shores received her autism diagnosis has become such a pivotal event in her adult life that she commemorates it as a “second birthday.” Her immediate thought upon hearing the news was to forge friendships with other autistic individuals—people she believed might genuinely comprehend her for the first time. “I thought maybe I’ll feel less like an alien,” she stated. However, this proved to be a difficult endeavor. In her mid-20s, while living in London and pursuing her ambition of becoming a primary school teacher, Emma experienced what she describes as a “major meltdown.” Her life was disrupted, leading to her engagement with mental health services, where she was misdiagnosed with a mental illness and received medication and therapy. Emma subsequently moved to rural Wales to be with her family. There, during a therapy session, she recounted that someone coincidentally identified the possibility of her having autism instead. This meant that by the time she was prepared to understand herself and sought friends to help her navigate her new reality, she was residing in a rural town, far removed from most of what she knew. The 33-year-old commented, “After the diagnosis I remember I started feeling really happy.” She added, “But there was also a bit of grief too, because I wasn’t going to be this person I’d had the idea of being.” Emma attempted to find groups that could assist her in making friends. Having recently become a mother, she also explored parenting groups but found them to be loud and overstimulating. Subsequently, she learned about a new initiative designed to encourage autistic people to establish their own social clubs. This concept immediately resonated with her. Emma expressed, “For me, feeling alone was like having a native language that’s different to everyone else around you.” She further explained her motivation: “I think the main reason I want to start a club is to help others, to make my son proud one day. I also don’t want anyone to feel that sense of loneliness I have.” This project, managed by the National Autistic Society (NAS), aims to motivate adults with autism to form their own peer support groups, where members can regularly gather for activities such as bowling, pizza, or games nights. Research conducted by the charity indicated that 80% of autistic adults experience feelings of loneliness and isolation. Simon Humphreys, who founded the first social club for autistic people in Colwyn Bay, observed, “Some of the things that we get regularly are around not being confident with people who are used to being bullied or picked on.” He added, “They don’t like to mix and they feel very vulnerable.” Humphreys concluded, “People just feel desperate and alone. At least this way we are talking and developing a friendship family.” Similar to Emma, Emrys Forrester, a former wrestler and hospice worker, also received his autism diagnosis in his mid-20s. He stated that attending Simon’s group in Colwyn Bay had helped him to understand his identity. He remarked, “I’ve always felt like a socially awkward person.” Forrester elaborated on the post-diagnosis experience: “As an adult, once you’re diagnosed you get the paperwork and stuff but then you’re off. That’s it.” He praised the group, saying, “This is great because it’s able to get you interacting with other people with autism who have real experiences. If you understand what they go though it can help you too.” For 29-year-old Declan Boland, the club offers an opportunity to engage in extended conversations without apprehension of judgment. He explained, “Talking is frightening for a lot of autistic people.” Boland described his typical social efforts: “I have to mask a lot of what I do and concentrate, make sure I stick to a topic and don’t go off on a tangent.” He contrasted this with the club environment: “Here you can just embrace the weirdness. You meet a range of people with different interests, but we always have that specialist subject, that we’ve absorbed like a sponge.” He concluded, “When we get to geek out, honestly, it’s the best thing in the world.” While Declan’s particular interest lies in cars, other members of the Colwyn Bay club enjoy discussing topics such as gardening, films, or even Thomas the Tank Engine for extended periods, free from the concern of judgment. In Abergavenny, Emma hopes to share her passion for time travel fiction with prospective new friends. Emma, in collaboration with local councillor Kyle Elridge, who is also autistic, is establishing the Abergavenny spectrum social. They have arranged with a local café to disable the music and dim the lighting for their group’s monthly meetings. Should it prove successful, this will become the eighth such group in Wales, with the NAS also aiming to extend the project’s implementation into England. Emma commented, “It’ll be super special and cosy.” She added, “I’m hoping I’ll just grab a few drinks and talk about really weird stuff.” She clarified the group’s nature: “None of that normal support group kind of stuff. It’s going to be really fun and an opportunity for people to be themselves.”